I never knew what I was in store for when I became a mom.
Karissa was fun, curious, and energetic. We read, played, laughed, and loved for 13 months. We had our struggles, too, but it was amazing. But I was so scared. People would tell me that she was going to hate and resent her little sister. I was terrified that she would hate both of us, that she would hate me.
I wanted her to have a sister though. I wanted her to experience that form of love–a sister is a unique, special bond that is ineffable. I can’t imagine life without my sister.
Then Madilyn was born. My second all natural birth, how lucky and amazing. Karissa didn’t like seeing another baby nursing, but she slept in the hospital bed with us. She was curious and excited. She was also jealous and still is sometimes. No big deal, she is human. She fell in love with her little sister. So did I.
Madilyn, my love, I had no idea how awesome you are when you were born a year ago; you were this screaming little mess that had been resuscitated and handed to me. You are adventurous and fearless, you are smart and strong. You have an amazing big sister. You are always happy and your laughter is music to my ears. Your sweet smile makes my heart melt.
I am so thankful that those people were wrong. I am so happy that I had both of you 13 months apart. You spend every waking moment together, and nearly every moment of the day is pure joy. I never knew how much love I would feel. I never knew how protective and scared I could be. I never expected that you two would change my life in different ways and make me into a new person. I am stronger, better, and wiser because of you two.
A year ago tomorrow our family grew one stronger. Happy birthday little miss Madilyn.