I’m growing restless and feeling tired again. Both of the girls are going through serious clingy phases and it’s got me feeling beat. But hey, Karissa’s birthday is tomorrow! She will be two–that’s insane! She’s so big and so loving and sweet, and such a brat. She’s speaking in sentences and knows the alphabet, colors, shapes, numbers. She’s trying to spell and count! I can’t believe it’s been two years. Some not so fun doctor’s appointments in a week, though.
Matt and I are so ready to get out of California and start a new adventure in Texas. We are both so impatient and waiting is a bummer. I’m burning myself out trying to do too much lately, so I decided that I need to go back to basics–slow mornings with bacon and snuggles, playgrounds, grass and sunshine. I need to enjoy my two year old and her awesome budding personality, and I want to cling desperately to baby Madilyn, the 10 month old that is already talking–she has at least 40 words–and trying to walk. Just be my baby for a little longer, sweetheart.
Anyway, we are talking about packing and trying to find somewhere to live even though Matt doesn’t have a job in Texas yet, and today he tells me that he finally got an update on an application. It’s not big, but it’s a step and it’s encouraging. It’s a reminder that all things flow. If we can find where we need to be we’ll float right down the stream to where we need to be, the trick is finding where you belong.
Often with life buzzing around you it isn’t easy to figure it out where you need to be, but there is so much wisdom in the old saying “mind over matter.” It’s all connected, and if your mindset is right things can flow accordingly, but if your attitude is wrong it’ll all go wrong. Who knows if it’s a causal or consequential relationship? But it doesn’t really matter so long as you acknowledge it.
The other day I took the girls to Target with me and we got inside and I lift Karissa to put her in a cart (with Madi strapped to me). She is getting BIG, so it’s a pain, and I started to push the cart when the dreaded CLUNK CLUNK happened, you know the one–it’s basically the worst cart available, trumped perhaps only by the terrible carts that pull so hard one way that it counts as a workout by the end. Anyway, I’m pushing and sigh while thinking, damn, it’s going to annoy both of us and she’s gonna make me change the cart anyway. I should just bite the bullet and do it now. I ask Karissa if she wants a better cart to ride in. Big grin “no.” Crap, she’s going to make me do it later, I thought. I was so wrong, and it was amazing. The whole time that cart banged she DANCED to it like it was the most fantastic music she had ever heard. I ended up dancing with her. What a beautiful, wonderful thing to hear music and see beauty in the most simple and mundane things. Imagine how much happier most of us would be if we could borrow a little bit of that innocence and enthusiasm for life. She knows that everything is right and things are perfect, she’s where she belongs.
So anyway, if you ask me, the key to happiness is finding your stride.